He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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