Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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