i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
And then he peed in my hair
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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