D3 body, D1 cock
Can Purell be used as lube?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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