it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
