Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
