God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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