You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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