i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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