I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
