In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The beer is more important than you right now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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