i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
