is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
