so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
