I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
