I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
