I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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