You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
