just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
