Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
