Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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