why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
