i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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