it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I can't turn off my feet"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
