if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
