i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
