And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
