we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
