It's a beautiful day for a hangover
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
