yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
