You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
