he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
