I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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