Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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