Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
