No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
