If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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