Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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