We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Boobs are out for the taking
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
