I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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