He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
