porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
