there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
