I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
