# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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