How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
