it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize