Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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