She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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