yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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