well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
