I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
