Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize