New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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