Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
