Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
