Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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