don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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