Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
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