Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
