Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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