I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
