My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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