He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize