So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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