He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize