The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
