Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
