i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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